Today, i'm nuts. So am i now.


I woke up to the familiar, serene hum of my aged air conditioner, breathing in its artificially cooled air. I sat up blurred and bleary, getting my bearings straight and recalling whatever that was forgotten in my slumber. Things didn’t seem right. I remembered setting my hand phone alarm to ring at 6 a.m., and sunlight was forcing its way through my blinds. My reached for my hand phone to see the time. 10.33 a.m. Cripes. I’m late for college.

Oh Damn, I must’ve turned the alarm off instead of snoozing it when it rang under my sleepy stupor.

I recalled sitting on my bed for a moment, remembering that I was supposed to meet Amanda for breakfast (I didn’t tell her I would, but I intended to) and that I had probably missed my first ever tutorial of the semester (and wasting one of the three days I could spare playing truant). All because I had killed off my alarm and went back to sleep like a freaking lazy-ass. Ah, what the heck. The world hasn’t end, I won’t be expelled from college and I have 6 weeks to ask Amanda for breakfast before semester ends. Plus I have a full day to look forward to. A full day spending time at home. Excellent, if not good.

So begins a usual routine of me watching some anime whilst dressing up, eating an unhealthy lunch while watching a movie with Kak Yun, pumped a good couple of hours on the ps2 and surfing the net mindlessly.

I even made an effort to type down my lecture notes into the laptop. OMG I’m typing my lecture notes into my laptop WILLINGLY. It’s a miracle O.O

My writer’s block remained plagued inside my joke of a mind (thus this meaningless, unnecessary post of random and useless things). I tried Amanda’s way of curing it, pushing away this laptop for a sheet of paper and with my Papermate Kilometrico MED Point ball pen held in my hand. 20 minutes later the sheet is full with whatever crap manga I could draw, the terrible sketches of evil grins and big anime eyes mocking my own stupidity. The sheet of paper found itself torched into ash on my lawn.

I got screwed for burning the paper. And now my dad thinks I’m pyro-psychotic. Great.

Sulking from the scold I stayed a little while on the lawn, staring into a starless sky and placing myself as mosquito fodder. I made a stroll to the dog cages and found it literally surrounded by a small number of slugs. No wonder the bougainvilleas were losing their leaves (maybe it’s another cause, but that moment all I could do was blame the slugs).

The slugs were cute, like snails without shells. Thinking of snails reminded me of Maple Story, and in Maple Story I slaughter snails for measly Mesos and snail shells. Too bad, slugs. You’re pests, and dad doesn’t like pests.

I massacred all the slugs that I could find, turning them into liquid entities of themselves with the fine salt I got off the kitchen (the very same salt I used for my omelet). May you all rest in peace, and reincarnate into something better than sliming invertebrates. Somehow I get the feeling that I will go to hell.

Scanning the net for soundtracks I somehow stupidly ignored the advice against visiting this particular site which is rumoured to infect random visitors with Trojan and spyware (should’ve listend to you guys at www.gamefaqs.com). The PC got a major jam/lag/slowdown breakdown, so I shut it down and restarted it only to enter a screen saying that my PC will be deleting virtual memory spaces. I restarted the PC (all the while muttering OMGWTH WAS THAT!!!1) and everything turned out ok after. 5 minutes later I was online looking for any free Adware and Spyware blocking softwares (or rather, brother did, but I looked for some after he slept. Better ones, that is. Found none though).

I cooked omelet for dinner tonight, trying to mimic those telur dadar that you can order from those tom yam stalls/restaurant. I fried some mixed vegetables (diced carrots, corns and peas) with garlic, oyster sauce and some soy sauce (and adding some corn starch later to thicken the broth). Then I fried the egg on dad’s brand new flat pan, making the most perfect omelet (no burns, no holes and not looking like sunflowers battered by raging bulls) I made in a long time on the large wok. Then I attempted to wrap the egg over the mixed vegetables. The end product is 16% similar to the telur dadar in looks, and 35% similar in taste. A good improvement over the -21% similarities my previous omelet did. Dad didn’t eat much of it, though. Or maybe he didn’t any of it at all. I wasn’t looking.

I’m currently mosquito fodder by my dining table as I type this. I guess I’m really worth calling JE. Maybe I’m diabetic; my blood can’t be all that tasty. Perhaps if I’m in a vampire movie, I’m one of those people who die first and most uneventfully. Maybe it’ll go like this:

JE: OMG it’s a giant bat that looks like Brad Pitt in Interview with the VAmpire! Where art thou my garlic? Oh, I ate them in dinner before my Clorects. Damn.

*cheesy horror music. A scream, crashes of furniture. 100 galleon of blood artistically splashed on the wall for a grim effect. The heroin comes in the room to find a lump of fats and skin. She screams. My name appears at the bottom part of the end credits.*

Random Token Black Guy: Man That Sh*t is Whack!

Homer Simpson: Operator! Give me the number for 911! (character and quote copyright of Fox and Matt Groening)

(Forgive my insanity, people. It’s the TV, I swear it’s the TV)

I have no classes tomorrow. And what do you know? Class today was canceled. Luck?

MUAAAHAHAHAHAHHA! MUAHAHAHAHHA! MUAHAH-HAHAH-HAGH! *COUGH* *SNORT* *DEAD*
(Sorry people. It happens when I have writer’s block. It’s the TV, I swear. And the rap music. Blame it on the media, people!)