Strings from up Above

"Who flies these things?"

Tomorrow is very well the start of Closing Week, so I figure I should update before I’m too paralysed to do it (or start giving the excuse that I’m too paralysed to do it, the same day I slam dunk from the three point line). (I can’t slam dunk from the three point line but I can do it in NBA Street. That counts.)

The car is now at the repair shop, which is going to cost me a good 2 thousand bucks, thanks to the dad, because he figured I couldn’t live with a fraying door panel and some minute windscreen problem, forgetting that I really couldn’t live being 2 thousand bucks in debt.

But well, I’ll take it as redecorating the car. It was going to happen eventually anyway.

(When I’m the King of Sheba, and I have golden maidens to sell for millions).

And I appreciate the dad in finding the people to fix it all the same.

Everything makes my buying the PS3 all the more regretful. I’ve had a (horror!) thought of selling it off while it’s still new, but there’s this part of me who knew I would die of depression if I did it.

No games for next month. Well, maybe FF13.

(Or God of War 3. Each or either.)

****

Not much for me to remind anyone, but Script Frenzy starts in 11 days.

Don’t know what it is? Here: www.scriptfrenzy.org

I know, I know. NaNoWriMo was hard enough. But hey; writing projects never hurt, no?

Speaking of projects, I owe a story to Li Mei. I’ve named it Project March but it doesn’t seem like I’ll be finishing it by March after all.

Here’s to hoping that it’ll get me back to writing, uh, more pointless stuff.

************

“We’re all puppets to Gods. They’re up there with their strings on us, making us move and dance and get tangled up with everything else.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“That they can walk you off a cliff if they want to? Sure thing.”

“Doesn’t this sort of make the fact that you can actually blame something else when bad things happen?”

“…yeah.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

****

Goodnight, people.

Noir

Wish everything I draw would stop talking back

Black paper(s) and blue lead courtesy of Pauline, whom I could trust to get me a mechanical pencil with something extra thrown along. Cheers, chum!

Couldn’t have asked for a better birthday celebration; great food, great company, a gaming session somewhere, some great news given and amazing, utterly amazing gifts only these fantastic friends could’ve gotten me.

Pauline already gave me Noir paper with a pencil. The guys rounded up and got me Shaun Tan’s The Arrival.

"Oh my God... you're a... goat?"

Which is this downright beautiful, phantasmagorical, delicious and wondrous graphic novel with no words and the most amazing art ever. I’ve been drooling over it the first time I ever saw it on Borders. Now I drool over it in the room with a bucket and a mop to clean up after.

Thank you, guys.

And I couldn’t do it enough times, so I’ll do it once here and do it again and again silently, in case you guys started calling the mental asylum, which you guys probably already have on speed dial, being friends with me.

But seriously; thanks guys =).

An update on life so far, both good and bad:

1) I bought the PS3. Along with it I got Uncharted 2 and Killzone 2. It has now gotten me addicted to HD.

2) The same night I hooked up the PS3, the modem and router fried. It cost me Final Fantasy 13 to get a new set.

3) I have a hole in my car now. Something stupidly parking beside a truck gave. The back door’s jammed and rust has worrisomely settled now. This would cost me God of War 3, Assassin’s Creed 2 and just about 10 other games to get fixed.

4) Reading Un Lun Dun by China Miéville, which is interestingly bizarre and, from where I am now, an example of how to subvert common story tropes as you go.

5) I haven’t counted the fact that I still have a new set of rims to buy. I think I might just have to sell the PS3

5) Because it went down to as low as 30 bucks, I bought Mirrormask: The Illustrated Film Script of the Motion Picture, so I can ogle at Dave McKean’s storyboard and read Neil Gaiman’s scripting. (Right when you needed the cash? Shame on you. Shame on you.)

Everything else is fine. And today I get to see my dad holding up to his principles and become a badass, not that he’s already one anyway.

*****

Strange that when I laid it all down on a list, it felt so distant and dull and insignificant. A week ago it seemed like every night lasted long and unfulfilling having to figure out how to make things right.

I suppose that - now that it has come to this point in time - it’s oddly therapeutic.

Maybe it’s the way the mind works. When it stopped getting confused, when everything is laid down in order and the appropriate plan of action allocated accordingly, it can go to ease.

Sounds like it could be worked into a book. A List of Problems; The Single Best Way to Cope with Stress, Worry and Depression.

Gnite folks.

I don’t know what to say to myself.

I just don’t fucking know.

Ah jeez

12 hours ago I was awake and staring helplessly at the computer screen, the red brick wall of writer’s block grinning as stoically as mentally projected walls would, failing over and over again to properly process the simplest of news into rewritten news. 12 hours later I’m sitting here half asleep wondering why I couldn’t stop thinking of words that never stayed still and why I let them jeopardise my sleep. It’s like half my mind isn’t quite my own. Maybe it’s an organ on loan.

At any rate, 3 a.m. does not allow me to make any sense.

I’m doing what any respectable 3 a.m. insomniac would; try to tire himself to sleep. Basically my methods require me to get rid of the words that gnaw and terrorize my brain in unholy conjugation, but they don’t normally stay still long enough to make them out. So I figure I’ll just tempt them out. By writing. See if it works.

So far it’s working just as well as jumping over the Cape of Good Hope knowing that it’ll cure cancer. Forever.

Argh. This isn’t good. There’s an event at Cyberjaya tomorrow and I would need the better functionalities of this insipid brain to clear off my news before getting started with the piling features and reviews. From the way things are going, I’ll be attending the event tomorrow stoned to a tacit, irresponsive state and spending the other part of the day shaking my fist at that damned writer’s block wall.

If I’m lucky, I won’t turn crazy and start yelling quotes from The Planet of the Apes at the speech-makers. It wouldn’t be nice for the Energizer CEO to hear “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!” right after concluding his speech about how marvellous their battery worked powering the lights of insane people trying to run a marathon at night.

Right. I think I’m done here. I think I’ll go try and sleep again.

Damn words better stop bugging me.

March the Third.

I can’t properly start the post without wishing Pauline a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It has to be all caps. It’s just the way it is.

So today became today, and I got through it with a cake from the brother and half a bottle of Kampai (Kanpai?) Beer (which 5.0% alcohol is already taking effect; man my tolerance is horrible). It just makes the day all the more worthwhile.

And thanks to everyone that wished, be it through SMSes or phone calls or Facebook. Made my day more than the day could already do.

There’s nothing else I could post now. And now that I’m probably red all over from the beer I think I should stop, before I start writing weird things. And subsequently posting it.

Well at least I end the day drunk. From half a bottle of wussy beer. Cheers!

Gnites peops.

Excuse me Mr. Goldfish; you appeared to have run out of Air.

Wrapped the magazine for March, and just in time for the Editor to fly off to Japan. I’m suddenly faced with the prospect of an Editor-less week, which sounds the scary part completely more so than what people assume would be fun part.

This is what that have been keeping me sane in that very hectic week succeeding Bangkok:

Charlie Brown: What can you do when you don't fit in? What can you do when life seems to be passing you by?

Lucy: Follow me. I want to show you something. (They get to the top of a hill.) See the horizon over there? See how big this world is? See how much room there is for everybody? Have you ever seen any other worlds?

Charlie Brown: No.

Lucy: As far as you know, this is the only world there is, right?

Charlie Brown: Right.

Lucy: There are no other worlds for you to live in, right?

Charlie Brown: Right.

Lucy: You were born to live in this world, right?

Charlie Brown: Right.

Lucy: WELL LIVE IN IT THEN! Five cents please.

- The remarkably weird yet appropriately genius Charles M. Schulz -

Just because we needed a little more Peanuts in our lives. Then, for an equally big enough part, Calvin and Hobbes (and the Transmorgrifier. Someone should patent that).

I think I should be treating myself for the month (this disregarding anything else I’ve been ‘treating myself’ with. It works this way), and just go all out and buy that Sony Playstation 3.

I’ve seen Final Fantasy 13. I’ve seen God of War 3 (GOD FUCKING WAR OF 3, GOD DAMMIT). I’ve seen/read/heard/spoken enough about Uncharted 2. And now that I’m more or less addicted to HD, the PS3 is just the way to go.

This week; scout for the price. Next week; purchase. The years after, both regret and rejoice in prolonged cycles that I’ve splurged on something tremendously expensive for the betterment of nothing but to fulfil my HD quota.

After this, it’s all about working for the savings. You read this, me-reading-this-back-because-I-was-bored-and-couldn’t-find-anything-else-better-to-do? It’ll be all about working for the SAVINGS. S-A-V-I-

****

My speakers seem have broken down. That or it has caught some sort of disease, sputtering static and agonising thumps like some sort of a diarrheic… never mind.

Which leaves me with the Alienware headphones, which works surprisingly good for music despite a fellow tech writer telling me it doesn’t. I’ve had it to Chrono Cross’ OST the whole night. Best night of the week (so far).

Suddenly felt like I’m having the easy life. Never mind the late work nights; I happen to enjoy those. I have enough to cover for myself and I get to keep writing. And the world of tech is steadily opening up to be a fascinating archipelago of both wonders and a lot of Huh?.

This is the type of complacency that I think should be avoided. At least, in this point of life.

There is this vision. I’m in a room dressed in a suit and I’m looking at a lady with spectacles and her hair tied to a bun. She holds her pen like she holds a cigarette and she does so like Cruella De Vil. She places a clipboard in front of me and asks me to fill it up.

This questions go: Are you satisfied with this? Do you want more? Should you want more? Are there anymore? Shouldn’t you really have more? DO YA DO YA DO YA?

And the pen sits there, still and beckoning. And the lady stares and smirks and crosses her legs, waiting. I haven’t got all day. More applications to submit. Then dinner.

And I think I’m kind of afraid to answer. Because right now I think my answer will go both ways, and if I tick one I’ll never get it right.

There’s no right answer, even if there isn’t a wrong one.

I leave the room. She looks at me and says, we’ll be talking about this some other day. I can only close the door.

Yeah… well, we’ll talk about it some other day. Right now, to bed!

Gnite folks.