Doing so.....


The person sat staring at his portable computer’s screen, contemplating his choices. A frown slowly creases at his face as exasperation sets in. He was annoyed and feeling foolish. The choices were set, and all he had to do was choose. Choose the best choice that fit, or the choice that seemed (or at least felt) like the right one. His fingers twitched at the keyboard, himself eager to type but not knowing what to type. The decision had not been made, and he was beginning to feel more idiotic. He sighed, cracking his knuckles as he settled himself straighter on the stool.

An exhausting yawn left his mouth, and he stretched his hands. He was getting sleepy as tiredness seeped into his eyelids, threatening them to shut and willing him to dream. He blinked, massaging his temple (which somehow gave him an even larger urge to close his eyes and doze away the night) as he once more glared into the screen with half closed eyes. A decision had to be made, soon, before he loses his vigour and determination to submit something that night. He was lost for a while, his mind caught in a soft swirl of thoughts and memories as he pondered for a moment; why did he even bother to place himself under such a dire, perturbing situation for something that basically didn’t even require him to do so? A bespectacled girl appeared before his mind, and he saw himself smiling to those great comments his friends have left him. Something warm grew in his stomach, and he smiled. He cocked his head to the side so that it cricked, placing his fingers tenderly on the keyboard and began to type as an idea (a lame and pathetic one, but better than none) bloomed slowly in his head. He typed:

The person sat staring at his portable computer’s screen, contemplating his choices. A frown slowly creases at his face as exasperation sets in. He was annoyed and feeling foolish. The choices were set, and all he had to do was choose. Choose the best choice that fit, or the choice that seemed (or at least felt) like the right one. His fingers twitched at the keyboard, himself eager to type but not knowing what to type. The decision had not been made, and he was beginning to feel more idiotic. He sighed, cracking his knuckles as he settled himself straighter on the stool.

An exhausting yawn left his mouth, and he stretched his hands. He was getting sleepy as tiredness seeped into his eyelids, threatening them to shut and willing him to dream. He blinked, massaging his temple (which somehow gave him an even larger urge to close his eyes and doze away the night) as he once more glared into the screen with half closed eyes. A decision had to be made, soon, before he loses his vigour and determination to submit something that night. He was lost for a while, his mind caught in a soft swirl of thoughts and memories as he pondered for a moment; why did he even bother to place himself under such a dire, perturbing situation for something that basically didn’t even require him to do so? A bespectacled girl appeared before his mind, and he saw himself smiling to those great comments his friends have left him. Something warm grew in his stomach, and he smiled. He cocked his head to the side so that it cricked, placing his fingers tenderly on the keyboard and began to type as an idea (a lame and pathetic one, but better than none) bloomed slowly in his head.

He was finally finished, feeling both foolish and contempt. A soft smile coursed across his face as he uploaded the digital document into his pen-drive, and he began to wonder if he had made the utmost preposterous attempt to entertain his friends. It was already late, and the laziness that he kept at bay 20 minutes ago were slowly creeping back to lull him into sleep.

He uploaded the document into his personal computer, accessed the internet and pasted the document into an empty space under the window “New post.” He made a few adjustments to his document, editing away whatever errors he could find under his increasing drowsiness. Satisfied, he directed the mouse pointer to highlight a “Publish Post” icon, and clicked. Making sure that the post has successfully been made, he closed his blog window, shut down the computer and went to bed, pleased but feeling ridiculous.


He was finally finished, feeling both foolish and contempt. A soft smile coursed across his face as he uploaded the digital document into his pen-drive, and he began to wonder if he had made the utmost preposterous attempt to entertain his friends. It was already late, and the laziness that he kept at bay 20 minutes ago were slowly creeping back to lull him into sleep.

He uploaded the document into his personal computer, accessed the internet and pasted the document into an empty space under the window “New post.” He made a few adjustments to his document, editing away whatever errors he could find under his increasing drowsiness. Satisfied, he directed the mouse pointer to highlight a “Publish Post” icon, and clicked. Making sure that the post has successfully been made, he closed his blog window, shut down the computer and went to bed, pleased but feeling ridiculous.

The Arch beyond the Desert.

The sun, blazing at its zenith scorched the land along with the back of my neck, creating this intense feeling of unease. It was so hot the images within my view shimmered and swayed, and I was reminded of the great desert of the Sahara. Funny, though. Grandma’s house is never really this overwhelmingly hot. It must have something to do with the barren stretch of sand I could see as I approached her gate. It was weird, bizarre perhaps, but I didn’t allow it to in my mind. Important things were at hand, and I should worry about things that I grasp first and foremost. The strange rock that formed a V arch at the horizon was nothing of my concern. Not yet.

I followed dad into grandma’s house, immediately sensing the foreboding shadow that was over my relatives. The cheer that usually enveloped my fifth aunt was missing, perhaps obscured by the dark gloom that shows within her eyes. Her newly-wed husband was not here, though I had the notion of where he is. My grandparents and my sixth aunt were sitting at the dining table full of grim, and I could see the anxiety and apprehension that was carved to their faces. The wise-cracking Raymond, my sixth aunt’s lover, sat darkly at the corner of the dining room, deep in thought. He raised his head as I entered the room, acknowledging my father with a nod of respect before returning to his thoughts. Even my cousins; Jessica, Chee Zhen and Vince were there, the three siblings standing behind my grandparents. Mom was there too, sitting by the table, and she stood to embrace my father. We all sat by the table, and dad spread a blueprint across the rectangular table. Raymond diverted his attention to us. The meeting was starting, and I don’t know fishes about what was going on.

“The infiltration at Petaling Jaya was a success,” Dad began, addressing everyone with his stern gaze. “My sister and her family have discovered that the enemy is secretly giving instructions from three separate locations; Seremban, Batu 11 and Serdang. And Tjun (I raised my head at the mention of my brother) that has managed access to ATC Kemayan, and is now sending vital information of what the enemy is planning. It seems that the enemy has constructed a base beyond the desert arch, and is possibly developing something that may danger us and our nation.”

I was somewhat flabbergasted, yet calm and accepting all the same. The whole scenario seemed preposterous, outrageous even, and yet it seemed all so true. But I’m not so ready to believe it either. The kitchen was numbingly hot.

Dad went on, pointing at various illustrations on the blueprint, “Our current plan is this; we need to station some of our people in all this three locations, and also place someone to infiltrate the arch beyond the desert. Uncle Fook is currently heading towards Serdang upon completing his assignment at Ipoh, so we need three volunteers; two for station at the remaining locations and one to gain access to the arch beyond the desert.”

“I’ll take Seremban. I have contacts there that could be of help,” Raymond said, standing up. “But I’ll need Chee Zhen to help me.” He strode away and out of the house, Chee Zhen following him. Dad heaved a sigh as grandma gave my sixth aunt a reassuring pat.
“We need another two volunteers.”

“I’ll go to the arch,” I found myself saying, bewildered at my own actions. I, the one who screws up everything and anything that has been entrusted to me, am volunteering to the infiltrate a base in the middle of a desert that has miraculously appeared at the side of my grandmother’s house. It sounded surreal, and yet so real. I was oddly calm, as though this had been my goal, my main obligation as long as I breathe or live. But I remembered the strong determination that was burning in my chest, and I was suddenly brave and confident. A couple of moments later I had hoisted a large backpack full with things that I know nothing of, checking sure of the 5 water canteens I have around my belt, and then setting off into the desert towards the mysterious but magnificent arch that shivered beyond the wavering air.

I trudged long (or so it seems) and far, constantly glancing back at my grandmother’s house that was slowly devoured by the sand dunes that I traversed across. The backpack was surprisingly light, but I was thirsty soon enough as tiredness seeped into my legs. My main concern was water, which suddenly, despite 5 canteens, seemed such a small supply. I waded the sand and braced the strong winds for many hours (or so it seemed) until the sands suddenly turn tarred road, and I was advancing into a town reminiscent of Kajang Town. It was desolate, empty and in ruins. I was stunned, perplexed by this sight. Someone was calling me in a distant, sounding familiar, and then my sight got distorted. My view swirled, blurring, and then focusing back to normal. I was on the ground, trying to rise, trying to stand, but somehow I kept stumbling down. Something slapped into my face, something soft but thrust hard. I grunted, and turned in my bed. The voice kept telling me to wake, and that it was soon 10.30. I opened my eyes, trying to comprehend the insanity that has befallen upon me. What’s going on?

I sat up and stared blearily. My brother was uttering something about eating breakfast and then left the room. I yawned, trying to make sense of all that was happening. But it was obvious, isn’t it. I was fucking dreaming. Damn.

(This is a vivid example to show that the author of this blog is desperately running out of ideas to post, and has resulted to publishing cheap and lackluster stories of his pathetic and downright ridiculous dreams in attempt to entertain the folks unfortunate enough to read this.)

*the events in this story are a 98% true retelling of a dream, the extra 2% irrepressible exaggeration.*

*characters are real, not copyrighted and name used without consent >.<*

Here again...with nothing to offer.

Hmm, apparently, once more, i've been neglecting my blog >.<. My apologies (no one reads this, should i really apologise?), i'll make it more consistant later on.

Well, the truth is that i'm lacking anything to blog. Diane told me that i can blog about anything, absolutely anything, but somehow i couldn't really think of anything to post, so i had it laid off for a while. Plus, i'm rather addicted to Maple Story, the MMORPG many defined as the Online Mario game (or something in similiarity), which means that i'm constantly under an illusion that i should spend the better of my online time whacking snails and gigantic mushrooms (and also those one-eyes, walking tree stumps. They creep me out for some reason >.<)

My semester break is here, and as usual i find myself slothing at home playing video games or watching DVDs and stuffing myself with all the snacks that survived the Chinese New Year onslaught. The reason why i'm not out, chilling with my pals? I spent all my CNY ang pow money in my ice-skating trip at the beginning of the holidays >.<. I don't even have enough to grab myself a new game (i'm dying to get Tales of Legendia), so i'm stuck with Resident Evil 4 which i don't have the motivation to complete (actually, i don't have the guts to, the damn game is scaring my intestines outta me every moment).

Everyday is a routine, once again. I wake up close to the afternoon, eat my lunch (home cooked fried rice or 'mee kosong' , i dun have the money to get myself the forever excellent fishball noodles at town), watch a movie or ps2 or maple story into the evening, maybe play some badminton or change the bird's water. Watch Friends by dinnertime, and either spend my night mindlessly typing on my laptop or surf the net until midnight in which i will indulge myself into maple story well into 3 a.m or so, then sleep. Then wake up, then repeat the day in the same manner. I'm missing college....

I'm getting a lot of urge to write something, preferably a story, but i can't seem to come up with one that's well planned and not horribly fragmented. And i just joined a writing community, so i ought to publish something online soon. Ideas of stories all trail back to those sick and morbid stuff i tend to suddenly revert to, which i didn't want to crowd my written works (i like to be flexible, but can never be one well enough).

Speaking of writing, one day while contemplating my stories a stageplay popped into my head. I'm planning out the playwright, so hopefully i can write out a lil drama/play.

But what am i kidding? it'll prolly be crap anyways....ugh. but heys, if it happens, i'll post a lil sumthing of it here so i can get some comments.

mm..running out of things to blog now. I guess my title didn't disappoint, hehehehe.

Goodnight people. Sweet dreams.

Alright....This will be a long post, so it's boredom guaranteed and sleepiness inducing.

I'll start of with....

I've been tagged....By Diane Lee (>.<)

So...Rule 1: List 5 weird or random things about yourself.

1: I HATE spring onions.

Order a bowl of soup-noodles, and what do you get? A whole bowl garnished with the green epileptic poison called spring onions. People love it; it brings out a nice aroma and taste (which I agree) and even better fried. To be frank, I don't mind EATING it. In fact, I've learnt to eat it when necessary. But whenever I see it FLOATING serenely on my soup or jumbled up in my plate of fried noodles, I lose all my appetite. It's a phobia or something, it has to be.....

2: I'm slightly insomniac.

It happens rarely now, but at times I couldn't sleep at all. It happens sometimes even when I'm dreadfully exhausted or without anything to worry/ponder upon. When it happens I'll spend the night hoping to read myself to sleep or lie down and plan the storyline for the novels I intend to write. Most times I find myself asleep many hours later (or at daybreak), but there are several occurrences in which I abandon all hopes to sleep and rise up to a cup of instant coffee.....and hope I can survive through the day.

3: I draw when I'm in a classroom/lecture/study/boring situation.

It's this little epidemic sickness of mine to fill up any space I can draw onto with whatever drawings I can manage whenever I'm bored but unable to do anything else. I'll draw them on empty papers, exercise books, corners of my text books, the desks and on the hands of anybody bored enough to allow me to do so. The drawing ranges from stickmen to manga eyes/faces/characters to full-fledge comics complete with dialogs and a story.

4: I laugh whenever someone massages on my muscle aches or rubbing my bruises.

I don't know why, it must be connected to my laughing nerves or something, but whenever my mom goes through rubbing my bruises with medicine oil or my dad applying his Thai-style massage on my muscle aches, I crack into a painful, jittery laughter which is mixed with the normal yell of pains. Sometimes I laugh so much it seems like I went into an insane fit, and my ribs will hurt more than my bruise/ache.

5: I cannot bear buying clothes/shoes that worth more than rm100.

I don't now why, even for clothes/shoes that I really like. Maybe it's because I fell that it's not so worth it, or maybe it's because I prefer the money for something else (books, movies, games), but I can never have the notion to buy them even when I have the cash. But I still buy them, of course. How else do I get my clothes that I wear out?


Rule no.2: 5 people whom I want to do the quiz.....

1: Amanda Lee
2: Ng Ju Ee
3: My cousin Jessica
4: My pal Jansen Loke, if he blogs
5: Another pal of mine, Bryan Cheong.

Rule 3: Next, leave a comment "you are tagged" on their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules.



Gliding on ice.

Yesterday was like a dream, or if possible, anything beyond a dream ( a good dream, that is, not those with bizarre occurrences).

For the first time in my life, I was ice-skating.

Ice -skating, as in skating gracefully (not in my case) across a stretch of ice on shoes with a metal blade made underneath. Ice-skating, as in experiencing the painful tribulations of slipping and falling on solid, frozen water. Ice-skating, as in feeling the sensation of gliding on air through a blissful emptiness. Ice-skating, as in having the painful wounds from the falls and grabbing-the-walls-for-dear-life.

Yesterday I went off with Amanda, Michelle and Diane on a first-time public transport trip to Sunway Pyramid (the shopping mall). We took the KTM trains to Subang Jaya and took a bus there. I haven't been to Sunway Pyramid in a long, long time since my first visit, and I greeted the sight of the gigantic lion head (a close replica of the sphinx) set at the main entrance of the mall with anxiety and worry. We were planning to ice-skate, and I haven't done that in my life.

Despite myself being regarded as a walrus (thanks, brother), I've never been on the ice before. There's no winter here in Malaysia (obviously), thus no frozen lakes to slide onto. Ice rinks are scarce; there's barely one anywhere, and the only one available within the vicinity of Selangor is at Sunway, and Sunway is far from where I am. I was afraid to ice-skate. I was afraid to make a fool out of myself in front of the girls. I was afraid I'm going to fall like a mad cow on a slope in the Himalayas. And I kept remembering my pals from Kajang, who years back went ice-skating quite frequently, telling stories of painful falls and embarassing moments. I was basically terrified at the sight of the ice rink, and looking the people skating across it with grace and beauty, though I wasn't gonna show it in front of the ladies (hehehehe... :P).

So we had our lunch at KFC and went to the rink sometime after and paid for our admission and gloves. The skate shoes were provided as part of the admission fee (which I still think is very generous of the mall administration), so we went to grab ourselves a pair each. By GOD the shoes were TIGHT. Hermit-crab shell TIGHT! My legs were stiff when I finally got them in with difficulty. And then there's the weird moment of walking on land with it. I was fumbling like a buffallo on stilts.

Then came the moment I stepped on the ice.

I slipped. It was the first thing that happened, and I clinged to the rink-walls desperately. It was hell more slippery than I thought, and when I tried to walk forward I couldn't. My legs fell into awkward positions and my legs hurt more than ever (and numbed by the ice, thankfully). Seeing that most of the beginner skaters were soon crowding the wall behind me, I had no choice but to drag myself across the rink. It was hands down the worst experience ever, that very day, when I had to pull myself across the perimeter of the circular rink and slipping madly. It was halfway through when I realised I had to tie my shoes tighter and more properly, because perfect alignment is needed. So managed through the rink and came off sweating (yes, sweating on ice) and more exhausted than playing three rounds of badminton. But I wasn't ready to give up, not yet, not after paying rm 18 for admission and lousy gloves. I waited for the girls to return (they all managed, with seemingly painful ordeals), tied the shoes tighter and properly, and set off again.

I forgot how many rounds I went through sticking to the walls, occasionally pulling myself forward and letting me glide for a while before clinging to the walls again. Beginner skaters like me who fear the falls were making things slow and hard, as they just stick to the walls and refused to move. Later on I realised that the spikes (or saws, as Amanda puts em) at the front part of the metal blade at the shoes, can be used to pull forwards and dispersing most of the slipperi-ness (is it correct?). So slowly I experimented moving by using the spikes to pull forward while the other foot glides, and I was able to move without completely depending on the walls. Later on I gained some courage and tried away from the walls, and I learnt that there's a rythym in pulling and gliding forwards, so I tried it and managed to skate a little soon after (yay!). 6 hours later, after many trials and painful falls and accidents, I was able to skate. I'm still frequently losing balance and all, but I know how to push forwards and glide a little in an average speed. By the end of the day I could do some laps without totally relying on the walls (I'm sorry for bragging, but I have to say I'm a little proud :) ).

The falls, yes, there was the falls. It happens normally when I made the wrong balance, or digging the spikes too suddenly, or sometimes going off in a direction that throws me in a couple of uncontrolled spins. I fell, like, 7 to 9 times, I guess, mostly on my knees and sometimes on the bum (which hurts considerably less, thanks to my fats). Once I collided with another skater (who couldn't change directions like I was), thankfully on a slow speed, so we ended up in an awkward hug before pushing apart after some friendly pats on the back (sorry dude, hehe :P ). One embarassing moment was when I fell, slided across the ice and accidently brought a girl down with me by knocking her knees (luckily not very forcefully). Got myself a bruise on my left knee after the falls >.<.

But still the great sensation of gliding across the ice was unlike any other bliss, and after skating it felt as though walking is crude and forceful. There was a certain beauty in it, the peace grace when I at times I experience. Ice-skating is more than fun; ice-skating is bliss in another sense, in another level.

At the end of the day it was all fun and joy. the girls did well, though they still stuck to the walls a bit. But they were very much better than the other girls I see who couldn't learn despite having an instructor. I was around the rink (haughtily) checking out on the girls and helping Amanda a little.

The downside of ice-skating, however, is the after-effects. I woke up today in a bout of pain and aches, worse than that time when I played badminton for 6 hours. The girls had their share of bruises and blisters too, bless them. I hope they're alright, and better off than me. Currently I'm suffering from :

1) Muscle aches on my upper thighs
2)stiff feet
3)My bruise on the knee
4)Aches all over my hands, and a possible muscle injury on my right arm (which strangely hurt like hell as though it tore or something).
5)My Mom massaging the aches and rubbing on my bruise with medicine oil (something which I think she delights on).

The girls are talking of a next trip there. You bet I'm on it.

Oh wow, this is the longest post I ever did, so I apologise for the length. I guess I got carried away....hehe. I'll end this here now, my aches are getting stiffer by the minute. goodnight all.

It's time for me to change.

I've been living a life of the past. To be honest, as I stare back now into the times yester years, I discovered changes that were barely changes at all, and also changes that somehow altered myself to the worst of things. I glance back and realized that for 19 years I've basically lived the same as I had. Carefree, relaxed, a life which I'm content to be just within the comfort of my own zone. I've been taking things lightly, seeing things happily and let things come as they come, and come what may. I've been travelling down a stream and allowing the currents to just bring me as it flows, hoping that I will not strike a rock or obstacle. Easily put, I've been living a life I've lived all my life. And it wasn't, and hadn't, been a good one.

So I sit here now and ask myself, what have I actually done? What have I actually succeed in doing, or what decisions have I made to truly change this flow of living? I've already touch the age of 19, and what have I done to really show that I had actually grown or learned or experienced? Nothing. I sit here now and realise that nothing, nothing had been done, nothing had changed, nothing was succeeded and nothing was prevailed. Nothing. I've made mistakes, painful ones as well as the ones that causes pain, and I have learned noting from it. Year after year I see myself plummeting down the very chasm of despair that I cracked open with the mistake I had made, and yet I didn't pick up from it, fear it until I fear falling down again. No. I have been letting be, just leave it to the flow of the stream I say, and see how the current carries it.

I've been going on about having ideas for novels; but have I truly planned it out? My social life, to what I see now, is pathetic; faeces and mashed-up disdains that only revolve around the few people that I call friends, and the friends that treat me as a friend. Have I really ventured out to meet more, to know more, and to communicate more? No. Even among my friends I'm at a loss. I don't know what to say, I don't know how to strike a joke and I don't know how to react to the reactions that occurs. My studies, the future path I chose, is barely being held together by mere passes and strung together with the littlest of efforts. No excellent results, nothing in flying colours and everytime a disappointment to those I love and cherish. I spoke of passion and ambition and paths of fates and destiny, but have I sought mine? Have I begun to relieve myself way from the stream and walk down a path I carve myself? No.

It's time for me to change.

It's time for me to hold myself by myself. It's time for me make everthing that has been given to me worthwhile. It's time for me to venture away from the comforts of my secluded and deluded zone and seek what the world has to offer. It's time for me to succeed in something, it's time for me to complete the scattered dreams that has been abandoned. No more waiting. No more procrastinating. No more believing that things that come by can be solved with ease, no. No more.

It's time for me to grow up. It's time I make the change for the better.

It's time I put a smile into my father's face. It's time I put pride into my mother's eyes. It's time to pick up the pace and compete with my brother.

It's time for me to live a life.

And I need something to remind me. Something; a keepsake or an inventory that'll remind me of what I'm setting out for. And if given I will choose my friends, but too many times now I have depended on the arms of people to keep me warm, keep me safe and protected. I will hold it with my own capability, and I will hone my strength to keep it up. And I choose the chain I wear now around my neck, the chain that bore the God that have been my protector. It will remind me, and always will be.

And I apologize to everyone who read this, especially my friends from college, whom I presume is expecting me to post about the great party we had to celebrate the end of the semester. I am truly sorry to indulge everyone into this.

And I pray that I can change, and I pray that changes will be there for someone who seeks it like I do. Changes for the better.

Drama paper....done!

Ah, yes. Just one final exam paper to go. Journalism paper is on this Thursday, and i have 2 days to prepare for it (i hope the time is sufficient).

But i'm taking this time off to blog a little (well.... i have been taking the whole day off watching a movie and having a go on my PS2..). I'll start tonight, the studying, and hopefully by thursday i can remember the Kershner rules and the ethics. Maybe read back on my older reports, and see if Diane or Amanda can enlighten me with a few pointers the get from Puan Ana, our journalism lecturer (which, though enjoyable to listen to, often drone into her past experiences of being a journalist that often makes me day-dream).

I doze off too early to early to post something about yesterday (which i doubt you care about, anyway). But i felt like i ought to, well, probably as a reason to skive off studying at this hour (i seriously CAN'T study in the evening). So here goes... >.<

I remember waking up feeling disgruntingly lazy, not to mention rather upset that i barely studied for drama (yes i get upset for being lazy, and yet i continue to laze off). I was so bloody reluctant to attend the paper I slouched back at home watching the 6 a.m screening of The Simpsons eating Maggie with eggs. Still, exams are exams, and i don't want to resit for this paper next semester due to confounding laziness, so i drove off to the Station and hitched the 7.11 express train to college.

Ju Ee attended the exams yesterday, to my small bewilderment, despite her rather tired look. I caught up with her on my way up to the exam venue, and i thought she looked rather glad to be attending. "I don't care whether i get a D or whatever, i don't want to trouble my next semester resitting this," she said(in her usual *exasperated cantonese), prior to my question of why she came. I smiled to her back.

(*note: exasperated because of me)

Drama paper was - I'm not gonna lie or be humble about this - surprisingly easier than my expectations (well, i never really knew how the paper format was so i didn't know what to expect). If i was more hardworking in studying it I might've already guaranteed an A. But i wasn't, see, but at least i can expect a pass. Wrote a lot of crap and junk, though, which i hopefully pray that it is the right answers. I was rather surprised that Isaac was the first to leave the exam hall; did he finish it off exceptionately well or did he just scribble away the answers with hopes of gaining a small pass? Hmmm....

The drive home was HELL. My car air-cond broke down (or ran out of gas, maybe, because the wind it produces is not cold), and i guess you should know the how excruciatingly hot the inside of a car can get under the insanely scorching tropical afternoon sun. It was like driving in an active microwave oven, and by the moment I manage to reach home after getting caught in the afternoon lunch-hour jam (in which many drivers unfortunately became oblivious victims of my curses and profanity) I was in the verge of dehydrating (typo?) (yes, it's that hot despite the window open). And i never knew a can of Excel under the fan set to level 3 is HEAVENLY.

I better get the air-cond fixed soon, but maybe during the holidays. i haven't mustered enough courage to tell dad :(

Ack, The Simpsons will be on in a minute! i guess i'll slip off now

Sorry for the boring post today, and sorry for this boring blogger here

konban wa!

*update: i apologise to anyone who read this before i made a correction. i mispelled " Kershner " with " Hershner ". I don't want him turning in his grave when he finds out that a person who possibly is a future journalist shatter his "Accuracy, accuracy, accuracy"

Sitting here, I wonder about tomorrow....

........ because i'm gonna bloody fail my Drama paper. i ended up not studying the whole holidays and the sense of urgency and panic only flitted into my thick patetic cranium 3 hours ago. Once more i realised i'm unprepared. My notion is too absorb as many info as i can about Emily of Emerald hill and pray i remember the specks of it tomorrow, but distractions are too many... ranging from Final Fantasy 3/6 and Chelsea's match agaisnt Liverpool. I can't concentrate, and i know i'm ruined. I'm just gonna stab in a few joss sticks tomorrow at the deities and pray i live through the paper (which i doubt will be granted, for i have SINNED so greatly by procrastinating and succumbing to the blissful temptation of laziness).

And i now i set here ang blog about in an attempt to reflect on it and try to relieve the anxiousness building in my chest. Ugh... when will i learn? How many times already have i fallen into this situation, and yet never learn from it? I suck. I ought to go to hell and suck spiky lollipops. I wonder if a late new year resolution might help. But then again, resolutions never really do help. the only time i managed to successfully accomplish a resolution is when i told myself that i ought to complete Prince of Persia: Warrior Within by January to avoid distractions as i start on Star Ocean 3.

hmmm.... sorry for the late update. I couldn't bring myself to blog over the holidays. I had a notion to make a Chinese new year chronicle posting, but the effort to do so (uploading tons fo pics, editing them, planning the use of them) and the time consumed restricted my lazy arse. I'd leave it until after the exams (last paper on thursday).

Speaking bout thursday i still dunno what to get Geetha for her b'day. i promised a present, and since she had an affection for teddy bears i checked them out at my nearby TESCO supermart. BLoody hell do they cost! Maybe i should coax Amanda and Michelle (oh heck, maybe Ju Ee too) into pot-lucking some money and buy one.

Ah, well, it's time for me to hit the sack. i just hope the nerves from imminent regret that'll settle on me later won't keep me awake.

goodnight peops. And to my fellow classmates (and to those who are also taking the Drama paper tomorrow, i.e the PR guys or the MS gals), good luck tomorrow. All the best! Gambateh!