This Blogpost is a Final Bid for Something

Because, really, if I don’t write at least something tonight, I would’ve done absolutely nothing. Not that it’ll actually make this Sunday any way more productive, because I can’t. Because it’s as squandered off as the family fortune down a fake wishing well; but Something is better than Nothing, however small or pointless.

(At any rate, it’s Rule #1, and if I don’t comply, I’ll be meeting the manifestation of all my guilt and sins. He looks like Bill Murray’s zombie.

“You’re screwed, ______,” he’ll say.

“Why won’t you say my name?”

“It’s because you’re so screwed now, you don’t even exist.”

“_____ damn it.”

“Where you’re going, He doesn’t exist, too.”)

So yeah.

***

Today, there was that moment when it dawned upon my father that the rooftop lighting (part of his Grand Scheme of Things) would not be completed in time for the impending storm. And the storm was ominously impending enough, steadily throwing the rumbles of thunder our way while making sure the wind bit our skins and howled in our ears. He said Oh Shit, and I picked up the pace, one part hoping that we’d ditch the job midway, the other hoping we’d get it done before the rain so that I don’t have to worry about it tomorrow. I ran and I dashed and I dropped screws in my anxiety.

Turned out the impending storm wasn’t impending at all, because it shifted elsewhere and impended other places, and my dad was left in the house cursing at the weather.

I came in, read a few things, smiled at them, wished the lighting thing didn’t happen, then took a shower and watched the storm roll away.

And then, in the way you’d remember something just because the moment makes you so, I remembered a song.

I don’t remember the words to it now, but I remember what it was for and what it meant. Thing is, I thought I’d be singing this song again today, as I had always secretly sung it inside whenever I remembered it.

Today, I tore the song. Inside my head, the song went away.

There was something else though, and it went;

I might still be in disbelieve, but really;

The days remind me constantly

That dreams can last as I dream it

And they turn truer the more I live it.

It may be something hard, but truly;

You’d believe it too, as I do, fully

That dreams can last as we dream it

And they come true the longer we wish it.

So if there’s a storm, look and see

And you’ll know that rainbows follow after.

So if the night is lonely, close your eyes and cut free

And you’ll know that my words will follow after.

Baby, they follow after.

And maybe there’s more, or maybe that’s it.

Either way, I sing it now.

And I'll sing it after.