I’m back now.

And I see no cow-related calamities, nor do I chance upon a random, unidentified body upon my doorstep, which would’ve been the doing of Mr. Moo (at any rate, even if I do find one, I wouldn’t be likely putting it up here, would I?). As far as I know no downright peculiar television broadcast went on the air, though I do know that there was a 45 minute long tech error on Astro Wah Lai Toi (which caused an outbreak unlike which I’ve seen; millions of house-cooped up housewives terrorising their family members because Dicey Business was replaced by a blue screen announcing the technical error, and I tell you, it was pandemonium).

Well, everything’s fine, and my previous post can very well be just forgotten and wiped clean like the Slate in Slater. What do you say?

Betong turned out to be an interesting trip, and possibly the quietest, most placid vacation there ever was. Where was the urgency of rushing through ever landmark before the days are up, or the worry and brain-cringing hours planning the impossible trip to eat every damn thing in town? Nope. Betong only had 3 famous landmark to visit, and food is everywhere within walking distance and we actually wanted as much time in the hotel as possible.

I didn’t really expect it, but it was a relaxation sort of trip. Wow.

I think I'll post the pics and vids up here, instead of letting it rot in my drives.

Well.

Betong, in a nutshell, is a town in the Yala Province of Thailand, smack south and just off our Perak border with the Land of Rice and Smiles. 5 hours drive from Kajang, and just 5 minutes from the Pengkalan Hulu border control booth (308m above sea level). It’s a small town, just as quaint as you might have imagined, with a few notable landmarks and the bustling air that calls Tourist Business. According to Marimari.com, the name is derived from the Malay word for Bamboo (isn’t it Buluh?). The town holds a population of about 48K people, with the majority Buddhists and Muslims.

Possibly because it’s just beyond the borders of Malaysia, pretty much everyone there can converse in Chinese (your standard Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkein and Hakka). Here’s how the town sort of looks like:

We checked in the hotel shortly before lunch, and then set off for our first meal. Beef noodles and chicken rice (if you’re not familiar with Thai chicken rice, know that the chicken there are lean and stripped of fats). And then on with some shopping. Stuff there are pretty cheap.

Soon after I found the out-of-place clock tower, rightly in the middle of town (a landmark, apparently).

Looks beautiful in the night, too.

Nearby, you find the biggest mail-box in the world. No kidding; the largest one according to Marimari.com

Giant red dildo, with yours truly beside it as comparison.

I thought it was big enough (you don’t have that much mail, do you?), and was busy wondering why it was even built in the first place when I saw this;

Holy Excrement of Heavens; this is f***ing huge!

(yours truly as comparison, now a mere speck).

This box is built in a new community centre sort of building, not yet open to the public. I guess they didn’t want someone else to take the Largest Mail-box trophy anytime soon.

This here is the where my dad calls as the Bob-Marley shop, for its huge collection of reggae stuff. They have flip knives and fedoras, dildo-shaped lighter and a large number of katanas.

Metal-cast BB guns; like the damn real things, man. Straight banned in Malaysia.

Oh, and this is where the Rastafarian Pup came from.

It may not look it, but it's a pet house

Well, after the wandering around and eating, we head back to the hotel for a nap… supposedly, until my dad decided the day is too long to waste and took me and the brother for some Thai massage.

I can describe it simply as F**K-SHIT Motherfuking HURTS.

It hurt. Like mad. And somehow my dad can fall asleep in the process. You’re basically naked on top, wearing these pants that don’t hold and will keep falling down. They lead you to this room, turn down the lighting, and let you listen to some soothing music (I recognised them as simple, orchestral pieces from famous songs, notably Killing me Softly, Raindrops keep fallin on my Head and Song Sung Blue). Then they press whatever pressure points they’re taught to press, and at first it was pretty alright, until suddenly oh damn-shit they’re NOT doing that and you wanted to scream, you really wanted to, but you got your pride to care for, and then they started twisting the limbs in odd directions to stretch and to crick and oh god no, no, DAMN SHIT IT HURTS!

(and they press, sometimes, a little too close to the crotch area to be comfortable).

Well, at the end of it, I was glad it was over. And you might be either like my bro, who swore it off forever and ever and ever, or you could be like me who somehow felt really, really good after it.

It’s fun. But freaking hurts. Sometimes things go two and two.

Then back to the hotel. Then rest. Then dinner (BBQ seafood and authentic tom yam), then sleep.

The next day was properly planned out. First we go eat, and then we go to the hot springs before the weather got too hot to enjoy it.

The place had been built nicely; there’s the main part where the spring is, which they flowed the water into a separate pool to cool it down (too crazy hot on the spring itself). They had some dragon thingies to decorate the place too.

And here’s the centre of the spring, where you can pop eggs in and get them boiled in 7 minutes. Everything there smelled like eggs. It’s something to do with sulphur.

After soaking in for a few minutes, we left the springs and headed for the Piyamit Tunnels, but not before stopping to take a look at these pagodas, built as a resting spot for tourists. They have the statues of the 12 Chinese zodiac animals built in front of them.

There’s the view of the valley the pagodas overlook; beautiful (but ruined by my shots).

And then, to the Piyamit Tunnels!

On the top should be the village the commies built after surviving the bombings. The place is surrounded by properly cared foliage and marble statues. There’s a nice Kuan Yin statue near the entrance.

The plate says for itself.

We’re charged a small entrance fee, and off we hiked to the tunnels. It’s a little way uphill in the jungle. Here’s the hike up. You’ll forgive my family banter and my less than orthodox narration.

And soon enough we’re at the tunnels. There was an uncle who gave a brief explanation of the tunnels, which is the same story they gave at the entrance. I decided that the tunnel is too dark to be photographed in, so I took a video. Once again, forgive my crappy narration and the odd family moments.

The millipede is HUGE.

After the tunnels, we’re whisked into a small museum exhibiting the stuff and events concerning said tunnel. Photography is strictly prohibited inside, but there's virtually nothing inside downright interesting. Educational, yes.

And then, that was it. The end. We’ve went through all the landmarks and it wasn’t even noon yet of Day 2.

We went back to eat, then to rest up in the hotel until dinner, and we camped in the hotel until daybreak (everyone was strangely tired, after the hiking and shopping).

And come 10 a.m. the next day, we were already heading home.