What day is it today?

What day is it today? A bad day or a good day? I don’t know. Somehow beneath my exasperated and somewhat exhausted spirit, both seemed so likely, and yet so unlikely as well. The disturbing, familiar heat rising to my face-a sign of getting caught in the rain-is uncomfortable and disconcerting (while promisingly tempting, getting a fever during the last week of college break sucks). By right I should be pissed at the day; getting caught multiple times under the rain, getting screwed for pathetic reasons, somewhat making myself a fool in front my course juniors (Quiet and Serene? Wrong words, pal), and just tiring the crap out of my wide disgusting bottom. But what is this uncanny feeling of satisfaction settled warmly at my stomach?

Today is the college Mass Call day (or maybe another name, but I’m caring less about it), the day in which the new batch of students from this year’s May intake heave their arses to attend a whole day of non-prolific crap at college (yes, from my own personal experience). Being a senior now… wait, where’s the pride of being so? How come I feel degraded and pathetic and a total loser? Oh right, that’s the feverish feeling kicking in. Sorry. I was caught a rain too many.

Anyways, us senior need to introduce the college to the juniors, just as our beloved seniors did (“beloved” is a candy-coated lie), so today us senior committee members and a few other course mates which is enthusiastic enough to come have to tour the newbie batch around the college. Honestly, I’m not obliged to do so. But I’m obliged to choose to attend to do so. I don’t necessarily need to go, but I have to go, get it? It’s ok if you don’t, because I’m in a class 3 blur-case right now, and things are getting fucked-up.

I have to admit, it’s kinda fun feeling slightly superior to someone else (particularly for someone with inferior height, such as I), and it’s amusing to see the uncertain, quiet and curious but unenthusiastic juniors herding along like sheep in red woolly t-shirts (college t-shirt’s red this year). But it sucks when you get the feeling that they aren’t all that interested in what the heck you’re trying to tell them. And that feeling that you’re somehow deemed a loser and lamer in front of them. Unnervingly perplexing. But I can’t blame them if they do. I did my seniors too. But that’s not the point.

You know what? Scratch the second sentence of my first paragraph. Because today is undeniably a bad day. Why? I can’t elaborate further. Why? Because once more I’m deprived of rest and leisure and sleep because I chose so, which is because I don’t want to be a jerk.

Today sucks.

Pardon this entry.

Please leave me in peace. Crap-damnit.